The WMDs Are Thiiiiiiiis Biiiiiiiiiiig

By Lloyd Hart

Fitting to the fish story Mr. Bush laid out in his news conference this week timed for consumption just before Hans Blix reports to the UN the York Times published a photograph on the front page of Mr. Bush at the podium posed with his hands spread apart as if he were describing the size of a fish. The fish in this case of course is the size of Iraq's stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction which continue to get larger and larger and larger regardless of the factual material of the destruction of those stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons in the '90s and the dismantling of the nuclear weapons program Iraq had started in the '80s under the watchful eye of the wizard of Oz government masked by Ronald Reagan but run by Mr. Bush's father.

Having watched the entire fiasco the White House attempted call a presidential press conference. I came away with the idea of marketing the press conference to the schools our children attend in America as the clearest example of why children should not indulge in excessive use of cocaine and alcohol. Not only did Bush not answer any of the questions posed to him by the White House press corps coherently but he performed just as drug addicts and alcoholics do. The entire press conference can be summed up as " I repeat myself when under stress"" I repeat myself when under stress"" I repeat myself when under stress". There was absolutely nothing new in anything Bush rambled on about and in fact Bush's behavior and incoherence were worsened by the snail's pace of way he was speaking. It's no wonder they have Tony Blair playing the "U.S. Foreign Minister" to Europe for Tony Blair can snap out sentences one after the other and almost make Yankee imperialism seemed palatable until course you've thought about it for a second. But not even British Petroleum's hand up Tony Blair's butt with their multibillion-dollar bullshit marketing campaign that plays BP as "Beyond Petroleum" can sell this fish story to the British or the European public for that matter. Now that the Bush regime has swung round to describing what they're really, really, really, really, really up to, by using the liberation of the Iraqi people as a means to democratize all the Arab oil states (because none of them have nuclear weapons but do have shit loads of oil), this schizophrenic tap dance coming out of the White House and the Pentagon is beginning to turn stomachs of even of Northeast Republicans.

Even in Bush's speech to the American Enterprise Institute (AEI) the regime revealed its true intentions for the Arab Oil States by the complete adoption of the Rand Corp. proposals - that the Bush regime backed away from - when they were leaked to the press after the Rand Corp. completed the briefing supported by Richard Pearl and Paul Wolfowitz to Donald Rumsfeld in the fall of 2002, when the Bush regime rolled out their new product in the war on terrorism. The Rand Corp. briefing called for the knocking off of every oil state by first taking down Iraq and then moving on to the others in the region. In truth, a policy that is simply the military reinforcement of Thatcher/Reagan neo liberal policies pushed through the IMF and World Bank for the last twenty five years, demanding privatization of everything from state owned oil companies, to the freshwater supplies, to basic human rights. As I have written many times in the past this neo Liberal policy on mutant steroids coming out of the Bush regime is directly related to the CIA monitored and reported collapse of the world food and water supply which explains a complete and total unilateral foriegn policy after and exactly why the Bush regime and the U.S. Military stole the election in 2000. As all of the oil supplies in the Middle East oil states are primarily state owned and operated this Rand Corp. policy of military reinforced privatization of state oil companies fits neatly into the overall neo Liberal privatization, colonial philosophy now backed up by the Bush Doctrine, the National Security strategy.

By attempting to create the glow of democratic reform of these Middle East oil states through the use of military force hinged on the trigger of weapons of mass destruction morphing regime change into liberation in this11th hour debate in the United Nations the Bush regime has revealed far too much tap dancing to be taken credibly in the international community and here at home. But being taken seriously as homicidal maniacs, now that's credible. By Bush doing the upside speech in front of the100 percent supportive audience of the neo liberal tinkering with our brains cesspool they call a think tank, the American Enterprise Institute the Bush regime showed its hand by not trusting a more critical audience, the White House cowed press corps. . Realizing this, the Bush regime put together a hastily organized presidential press conference conveniently missing the only person asking questions about the true motive of the Yankee imperialist invasion of Arabian oil fields, the dean of the White House press corps Helen Thomas.

I was hoping after Ari Fleisher was laughed out of the White House press briefing room trying to make the U.S sell out of the Kurds via the Kurkuk Oil Fields in the Turkish bribery scandal sound like an honest negotiation between long-term allies that after Bush spinning his own Yankee imperialist buuushit (as they say in the south), the press corps would laugh him out of the room as well. I was not that disappointed that they didn't though, because the corporate media I know are trying to uphold a standard, a standard that will keep them off of the anthrax mailing list.

Even with my Noam Chomsky Imperialist Buuushit Filteration System tightly strapped to my ears, I could not help but notice myself screaming at the tops of my lungs at the TV set between every word that seemed to take an hour to dribble out of Bush's mouth. I think somebody forgot to give Bush his Dexedrine before his flight into the news conference. For future reference, could you folks at the White House please make sure that the fly boy gets his medication before you put him on t.v., it will save me from having to suffer from the bleeding vocal cords and the brain hemorrhages I acquired last night watching your brain damaged leader attempt to start a fire in the American people's hearts by rubbing the two lumps of crack together they call his heart and his brain.